To Stay Home Or Go Back To Work. That Is The Question.

Well…actually, I am not asking myself the question. I already know that I want to go back to work as soon as I can. I love my daughter to pieces but I have been feeling the need to work. I am not just a mum. I am an individual that has other needs such as intellectual challenges, creativity, adult time and sociability. I just miss my old self and feel that I will never find it again if I stay home. It was never an option anyways. Times are hard. But even if we had been able to live on a single income forever, I don’t think I would have wanted to stay home. It has only been six months, add eight months since I had to quit working very early in my pregnancy (severe morning sickness) and it is been very lonely, and emotionally challenging. But whenever we are apart, I miss her terribly and wonder if she misses me and if she is happy away from me. Confusing…

In Canada, most mums take a one-year long maternity leave which is very impressing as their French counterparts usually take two months-ish. I would be a much happier person and for that matter, a better mum if my life didn’t solely revolve around keeping the home and raising our beautiful child. I have always thought homeschooling and stay-at-home mums were amazing and I wish I could do it but I know I don’t have it in me. I feel very guilty about the fact that I can’t seem to feel satisfied by being a mother only. I am writing this as a confession as I feel this may not be shared by everyone. I would love to here your thoughts on the topic.

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