The 6 Week Growth Spurt & Breastfeeding

Going through a growth spurt and breastfeeding has proved challenging. I am starving. I am always thirsty (and water doesn’t cut it!). And I am beyond exhausted. (It is past midnight and baby is sleeping. I should go to bed.) So tired that my eyes hurt. I have cried the past two nights. More so last night when Victoire was crying, hungry and I felt empty. Not one drop of milk would come out. And all I wanted to do was sleep. I can understand now why a mother in distress would go to formula! We eventually fell asleep and, a couple hours later, some more milk had come in and she was able to nurse. She actually ate A LOT last night. I am hoping that tonight will be a little easier than last night – but I feel fuller, even tensed so it should be. I was able to get support from some ladies on the French LLL Facebook page and it really helped. Who would have thought that something so natural would be so hard!?

Sixtine And Her Terrible “Twos”

This seemingly angelic little girl turned 18 months about a month ago, and she has well entered the terrible twos. I will say that the terrible twos are, rather than a set age, a state of mind. Sixtine says no a million times a day. And I, say no a million times a day. She says no when she means yes. She says no when she means no. I don’t think she realizes what she is saying no to – most times, she says no for the sake of it. I know it is her way of showing me/us that she has become her own person. And I am happy for her.  But I really hope that it will pass rather sooner than later.  I have been working on redirecting her positively – didn’t think it would be so hard to break the habit of saying no! (Ie: “Sixtine, don’t scream.” Instead “Sixtine, use your little voice.” ) but it definitely needs improving.Yes, I have to confess, sometimes, I react/ed childishly – trying to be the loudest. But a fault half confessed is half redressed, isn’t it? Reading on the subject has given me the opportunity to step back and realize that the most important thing was to keep calm (and have a cupcake)!

How did you get through the terrible twos? Aside from eating cupcakes? 

 

(Not Quite) Irish Twins

Sisterly love.
Victoire (1 month), Sixtine (18 months)

Sleepless Nights

She slept through! After almost two weeks of waking up to play for some nights up to three hours a night, Sixtine slept through the night. I can’t tell you how exhausting those past two weeks have been…I was starting to lose it. Literally! Let’s hope it lasts!

Parenting Alone

When Sixtine was about 5 months we decided as a family that I and the baby would go to France for a few months so I could recharge my batteries and it was really needed. I did recharge them and felt better as soon as I landed but I missed my husband terribly after three months. He came for a two-week visit and wedid lots of sightseeing which was a lot of fun. He also had the opportunity to meet all my family, friends and see where I was from etc… I told him I never wanted to be apart again after being away for so long.

But again, Sixtine and I flew to France on the 27th of October and won’t be seeing him until the birth of the baby (unless he gets some time off for Christmas). Our future is pretty uncertain as he is starting a new job and doesn’t know what is in store for him yet.

I am exhausted ( I have said and written that a lot lately. Forgive me.) and raising Sissi by myself is pretty challenging. My husband is a very hands-on father, always willing to help. It feels like I have no break without him around. It is 24/7. I am definitely not your stay-at-home mother type of person and I am starting to wish I was going to work. I know it sounds horrible but I don’t think it is. I love my daughter to death. I just want to be my own person, not “just” a mum.

I miss him terribly and Skype hasn’t been doing a great job. It is always cutting up, and there is like a 8 hour time difference which means at midnight there it is 8 in the morning here.

To sum it up: Parenting alone su*ks! – especially when you have the most awesome husband in the world!

Starting Daycare For Socialization…and a bit of a break for Mama!

So it is official – although I am only meeting with the daycare’s manager next tuesday, Sixtine will be starting daycare on the fourth of December. It will only be for an hour at first, so we both get to know the educators, the children and the place and they get to know  more about little Miss Sissi, her sleeping habits, what she likes, doesn’t like, her personality…

I have to say that this is something that makes me overjoyed for two reasons:

1. I know my daughter and I can tell she has been craving the interaction. She is a very outgoing little girl, and she loves people – strangers, friends, family, you name it. And she especially love being around other children. I think it will be a great way for her to socialize, be challenged and stimulated, have lots of fun, and progressively get more independent, as baby two comes in the picture in March.
2. After 13 months of being with Mama 24/7, we are both going to have a break from each other. And that makes me happy.

When the lady told me that she would be starting early December, I was both excited and somehow emotional…As much as I have been wanting this time to arrive, it is going to be an adjustment to take her there and let her alone with people for hours not knowing what is going on. It almost feels like taking her to school for the first time – my baby is growing so fast!

But I know she will have a wonderful time. I can feel it.

Plus, I am exhausted and I NEED time for myself.

Letter To Baby #2

I am sorry.

I am sorry that I don’t play music for you as much as I would like. And I am sorry if sometimes I feel sad and cry. You are our second baby girl and we love you just as much as the first one. It is just different. Your big sister takes a lot of my time and energy and Daddy went away to work. I promise to be the loving mother that you deserve when you come to this world. I want you to know that I love you so much. I just can’t be there for you all the time and talk to you, feel you, and interact with you as I did for your big sister. It breaks my heart little sister.

Random Short Story: The Other Day I cried.

The other day I cried. I cried in the morning, and I cried a little more. I cried at lunch time, and I cried in the afternoon. They were cries of worry. I cried again later that day. I cried because I felt relieved, and I felt happy. I haven’t had any morning sickness (as in I haven’t gotten sick) since last Sunday. I started saying: “Baby, I didn’t get sick today.” After a couple days, I started counting. Every night, I’d tell my husband: “Guess how many days?” with a big grin on my face. And then I started wondering: “How is that even possible?”, “How can I be pregnant and not sick?” (I suffered from hyperemesis gravidarum/severe morning sickness during my first pregnancy). I wanted to think that it was OK to feel OK but couldn’t shake those “what ifs” out of my head.

And then, I started cramping. I have been pretty crampy during this whole pregnancy (which wasn’t the case with Sixtine until much later) so I thought I should take it easy and it would just go away. But the cramps didn’t ease up…and I started to wonder: “What if something is wrong with the baby?”. The last time I had painful cramps like these, I ended up bleeding. I decided to call the nurse, answered a few questions and decided to go to the ER for peace of mind. We prepared for the worst and held our breath until the Doctor started performing the ultrasound. I didn’t even want to look at the screen. But there it was, she said: “Look, the baby’s heart is beating well, there is good fetal movement. Isn’t that amazing?”. And I started crying. She said: “Why are you crying?”. My husband replied: “Relief.”

What a feeling. An amazing feeling. Now, they didn’t find anything (blood work, urine) that would have cause those cramps and just said that I should take it easy and it was probably early Braxton-Hicks. I left with a huge feeling of relief but I will feel even better on the 26th when we get our formal ultrasound. Starting off the pregnancy thinking I was miscarrying tends to make me worry about everything. But I would like to start planning, nesting, and dreaming about this little baby and stop worrying about every little thing. I want to let myself think that it is going to be all right and that I can let myself start loving this little one fully.

Baby Sign Language: Mastering Eat and Milk!

Baby sign language is a way to teach infants how to communicate using hand gestures. Hand gestures are easier for a baby than controlling their vocal chords. Using sign language enables your baby to start communicating about six months earlier than if you were just relying on speech. Being able to sign accelerates your baby’s progress to words as well. Studies show that signing babies develop larger speaking vocabularies than their non-signing counterparts.

As well as giving parents a way to start communicating with their baby earlier, baby sign language makes the baby’s life easier too. Being able to tell you what is on her mind gives your baby a little more control over her life, reducing frustration and the resulting fussiness. Many signing babies seem to skip the terrible twos stage and sail smoothly into toddler hood!               Read more here.

My daughter signed “milk” today. I knew she was very close to mastering it as she knew exactly what we meant when we signed it and would get very excited, and look everywhere for it but I didn’t expect to be such proud mum! She is now able to sign “eat” and “milk” and does a great job!

At first, signing wasn’t something I was really interested in. It wasn’t familiar to me, I didn’t know anyone in my entourage who had done it in the past, and didn’t really see a need for it. My husband was really interested in it however, so I decided to my research and decide if this is something I would like to do for our child. I also had the opportunity to meet with another mum later in time who had had great results with her own daughter and the more I read about it, the more sense it made.

We have been very consistent but I have to confess that I didn’t really think she would ever sign back. Well, not that I don’t trust her abilities but let’s say that I didn’t have high expectations. At the present time, we are using “eat”, “milk”, “hurt” and “bird” (I know, random but she loves birds) as well as “more” and “all done”. Now that she masters eat and milk, I want to focus more on “more” and “all done” as this is something that would be really useful (although she shakes her head when she is done so I take it as a “no more”).

I should add that my research mainly consisted (and I realize the choice of word was a tad strong) in reading about the benefits and checking out some signs. I may not be doing it the right way but it is working and everyone’s happy.

I think it might help with her bilingualism as well as my husband and I both use ASL (American Sign Language). She knows that MILK and LAIT means the same.

Have you ever been interested in signing? Would you recommend it? Please share your experience! Thank you!

Why Is It So Hard To Name Your Baby

I mean, seriously. It was fairly quick and easy the first time around. We agreed on a name very early on the pregnancy and were happy with it. Now, I don’t know if it is because we have had some scares at the beginning of the pregnancy, or if it is because I have a strong feeling it is a boy and never really prepared for it, but we can’t agree on a name.

I know, it is still early. I am 15 weeks+ and we won’t find out the gender of our baby until the 26th but still, I am really surprised about the fact that we haven’t set our hearts on a name yet. I have three girls names in mind and my husband likes two of them. But as far as the boy department is concerned, we are so not agreeing. I don’t know what it is.

Sixtine may sound like a number but at least, it is easily pronounced by both French and English-speaking people. We love our daughter’s name so much that we are finding it hard to top it. Unique and classic French boy names aren’t as pretty. Being a bi-cultural couple doesn’t help too much either as we have to make sure it works for both of our worlds!

Naming a baby should be a fun, exciting process in my opinion. Right now, it sounds more like: “How about XX?”…”Ermm…nah. But what about XX?” “Seriously?”. Anyway, you get the picture!

I guess it will get easier once we find out if we are expecting a girl or a boy. Let’s hope for a girl so that we don’t end up naming our child “no-name’.