Going through a growth spurt and breastfeeding has proved challenging. I am starving. I am always thirsty (and water doesn’t cut it!). And I am beyond exhausted. (It is past midnight and baby is sleeping. I should go to bed.) So tired that my eyes hurt. I have cried the past two nights. More so last night when Victoire was crying, hungry and I felt empty. Not one drop of milk would come out. And all I wanted to do was sleep. I can understand now why a mother in distress would go to formula! We eventually fell asleep and, a couple hours later, some more milk had come in and she was able to nurse. She actually ate A LOT last night. I am hoping that tonight will be a little easier than last night – but I feel fuller, even tensed so it should be. I was able to get support from some ladies on the French LLL Facebook page and it really helped. Who would have thought that something so natural would be so hard!?
Is there anything more discouraging than your children refusing to eat what you lovingly prepared for them? It is beyond frustrating and it’s been happening a lot lately. I sometimes feel super lazy to cook but I do because it is part of the job! And I am almost proud of serving her a nice home cooked meal (nothing fancy but still, I am not much of a chef!) until she says “na”. I say “Try it. It is yummy look…Hummmmm. Sissi do it!”. And she says “na” again. And I get so upset! She often ends up eating just dessert. And it drives me nuts! I was starting to worry and posted a message on Baby Led Weaning’s Facebook Page and was almost immediately reassured reading this:
“- Dont allow the situation to be stressful.
- It still doesn’t matter if your older baby or toddler doesn’t eat at every meal as long as they are still receiving their usual milk when they want it still doesn’t matter if your older baby or toddler doesn’t eat at every meal as long as they are still receiving their usual milk when they want i
- Keep offering a variety of foods.
- As your child gets older, they can help in the preparation of the meal. Children who are involved often eat more adventurously than those who aren’t.”
It also seems to be quite common at this stage. So I guess I will keep doing what I am doing and wait until she eventually outgrows it!
This seemingly angelic little girl turned 18 months about a month ago, and she has well entered the terrible twos. I will say that the terrible twos are, rather than a set age, a state of mind. Sixtine says no a million times a day. And I, say no a million times a day. She says no when she means yes. She says no when she means no. I don’t think she realizes what she is saying no to – most times, she says no for the sake of it. I know it is her way of showing me/us that she has become her own person. And I am happy for her. But I really hope that it will pass rather sooner than later. I have been working on redirecting her positively – didn’t think it would be so hard to break the habit of saying no! (Ie: “Sixtine, don’t scream.” Instead “Sixtine, use your little voice.” ) but it definitely needs improving.Yes, I have to confess, sometimes, I react/ed childishly – trying to be the loudest. But a fault half confessed is half redressed, isn’t it? Reading on the subject has given me the opportunity to step back and realize that the most important thing was to keep calm (and have a cupcake)!
How did you get through the terrible twos? Aside from eating cupcakes?
Victoire (1 month), Sixtine (18 months)
Three girls. Three pairs of feet. Three different personalities and routines, wants and needs.
When I became pregnant with Victoire, I often wondered how life would be like, looking after a 17 months old and newborn. I wasn’t so much worried about organization than how Sixtine would react to this change in our lives. I felt sad for my baby daughter thinking she would have to share her Mama, a Mama who could barely walk her to the park during a long, tedious pregnancy. I felt sad thinking she would have to be the “big girl” now, a big girl that was only so little…
I never really enjoyed being the eldest of four. My friends in school would call me “the little Mama” and that, I didn’t want for my daughter to have to go through. I wanted her to live her life and not worry about who was coming after. Or at least, not for some time. I guess I was projecting my own fears on Sixtine.
I had been dreading it for a week but one very early Monday morning, my husband had to go back to work after three weeks home (including one at the hospital for the birth of baby). When that day arrived, I had a good cry (I can’t-do-it-alone-sob-I-am-too-tired-sob-help-I-need-somebody-help), wiped my tears, got up and went. I nursed Victoire, prepared breakfast for Sixtine, got both girls ready, and one thing after the other, it was bedtime for Sixtine. I had mixed feelings at the end of the day: I felt both happy and proud, and at the same time I wondered how I would be able to do it for another week, month, year. But I realize now that children bring the best in you.
Looking after both of them day & night is extremely challenging – I find it hardest at meal times and at the end of the day, when we are all tired. But even then, it is much better than what I had envisioned.
Sixtine who I feared to be jealous and terrible, is actually very sweet to her baby sister, helpful, and generally well-behaved (as much as a 18-month old can be). She helped me change her sister this evening, holding wipes and diaper for me, and putting the dirty one in the garbage. She kisses, and strokes her sister’s head every single day, many times a day. She does sometimes walks on all fours (she has done that a few times now, since her sister has arrived), steals her sister’s soother, or jumps in her sister’s bed but I guess she is just showing her love. She loves her sister so she wants to be like her. She has also done a few cute things like putting a nursing pad under my shirt or hers. She’s also tried to nurse a couple times, asking then for a bottle of her own. (Oh yeah, and that one time when she told her sister not to scream with a threatening finger…I was in shock when it happened – it was the first time ever I heard her say “no screaming” (in French), let alone associate two words together.)
She loves her to pieces. The thought of it makes me really emotional as I can tell how happy she is to have a baby sister, even if she is still very small and doesn’t interact with her. I am so happy that we were able to give her the gift of a sibling. Now, I can’t say that it is all roses. I am extremely exhausted (as in major case of baby brain, and falling asleep for a half hour and waking up thinking it has been a full night already). I sometime forget to go pee or eat. I sometime feel like I am running a never-ending marathon. I haven’t blow dried my hair since Vic’s birth. I have very little time for myself until the night comes, and even then, baby Vic keeps me company. She is breastfed and we co-sleep. But I enjoy her company very much.
It has only been a month and I know there are more challenging days to come but this is how things are right now. I don’t think I can afford to worry about how it will be in a few months down the road. Let’s see how it goes tomorrow and make the most of it. It is much less scary that way!
She is here, and I am back. Before starting to blog again (I don’t know how realistic this is but I will give it a try), I would like to apologize for being a stranger and announce the birth of my new baby daughter, Victoire Callie. She was born March 25th, late morning. She is one month old, and three days today.
To keep it short, my daughter threatened to make an appearance at 24 weeks which made for a very stressful pregnancy. Fortunately, she was born healthy at 40 weeks + 2. Blogging in times like these wasn’t something I had the energy for. But I have missed it.
One month has passed since she was born. I feel that I can finally get back to it or at least try. It made me happy.
She slept through! After almost two weeks of waking up to play for some nights up to three hours a night, Sixtine slept through the night. I can’t tell you how exhausting those past two weeks have been…I was starting to lose it. Literally! Let’s hope it lasts!
When Sixtine was about 5 months we decided as a family that I and the baby would go to France for a few months so I could recharge my batteries and it was really needed. I did recharge them and felt better as soon as I landed but I missed my husband terribly after three months. He came for a two-week visit and wedid lots of sightseeing which was a lot of fun. He also had the opportunity to meet all my family, friends and see where I was from etc… I told him I never wanted to be apart again after being away for so long.
But again, Sixtine and I flew to France on the 27th of October and won’t be seeing him until the birth of the baby (unless he gets some time off for Christmas). Our future is pretty uncertain as he is starting a new job and doesn’t know what is in store for him yet.
I am exhausted ( I have said and written that a lot lately. Forgive me.) and raising Sissi by myself is pretty challenging. My husband is a very hands-on father, always willing to help. It feels like I have no break without him around. It is 24/7. I am definitely not your stay-at-home mother type of person and I am starting to wish I was going to work. I know it sounds horrible but I don’t think it is. I love my daughter to death. I just want to be my own person, not “just” a mum.
I miss him terribly and Skype hasn’t been doing a great job. It is always cutting up, and there is like a 8 hour time difference which means at midnight there it is 8 in the morning here.
To sum it up: Parenting alone su*ks! – especially when you have the most awesome husband in the world!
Pregnancy is not an illness. However, I see myself as “not feeling well”, or “sick” rather than pregnant. I have been suffering from bad morning sickness, reflux, exhaustion and sciatica. Because I have a high anterior placenta, I barely feel my baby girl move. Feeling the baby move was the most enjoyable part of pregnancy for me, I loved touching my belly, and interacting with Sixtine when she was still in the belly. This time around, I can feel the baby pretty much everyday but very very low, and the kicks are very light. I wish she could feel my touch and respond.
Worried about the baby’s health in the first stage of pregnancy and being so busy with Sixtine -a very energetic toddler- it hasn’t really sunk in. Yet I am 22 weeks +1 pregnant, and I don’t really take the time to think about this baby-to-be. I haven’t bought one single item for her yet (not that it is wrong but I would like to), no nesting, nothing. I am more wondering about how I will cope with two than how exciting it is going to be to meet her. But it will come in time, no doubt about it.
My cousin came over this weekend and we had a really good time. She didn’t come empty-handed and had the most adorable things for us (including Sixtine’s belated birthday gift).
I was very intrigued to see what was in the little box saying “something is hiding in there” in a nice little bag. It said Pamela Loops on it. Pamela who? Well, Pamela Loops. (You can check her Etsy shop here. Facebook page there)
And when I opened it, I found two little people wearing swim suits (the same as this one minus the extra boy) under a big announcement banner saying: “congratulations to you both!”.
I don’t know if whether it was the cuteness of the pastel colors, or the surprise in a box effect but I felt very emotional. I thought: “Yes, we are expecting a child! It is great news and something to be celebrated!” It really warmed my heart so thank you Melanie for this thoughtful gift and reminding me that I was pregnant and it was a beautiful thing.