Random Short Story: The Other Day I cried.

The other day I cried. I cried in the morning, and I cried a little more. I cried at lunch time, and I cried in the afternoon. They were cries of worry. I cried again later that day. I cried because I felt relieved, and I felt happy. I haven’t had any morning sickness (as in I haven’t gotten sick) since last Sunday. I started saying: “Baby, I didn’t get sick today.” After a couple days, I started counting. Every night, I’d tell my husband: “Guess how many days?” with a big grin on my face. And then I started wondering: “How is that even possible?”, “How can I be pregnant and not sick?” (I suffered from hyperemesis gravidarum/severe morning sickness during my first pregnancy). I wanted to think that it was OK to feel OK but couldn’t shake those “what ifs” out of my head.

And then, I started cramping. I have been pretty crampy during this whole pregnancy (which wasn’t the case with Sixtine until much later) so I thought I should take it easy and it would just go away. But the cramps didn’t ease up…and I started to wonder: “What if something is wrong with the baby?”. The last time I had painful cramps like these, I ended up bleeding. I decided to call the nurse, answered a few questions and decided to go to the ER for peace of mind. We prepared for the worst and held our breath until the Doctor started performing the ultrasound. I didn’t even want to look at the screen. But there it was, she said: “Look, the baby’s heart is beating well, there is good fetal movement. Isn’t that amazing?”. And I started crying. She said: “Why are you crying?”. My husband replied: “Relief.”

What a feeling. An amazing feeling. Now, they didn’t find anything (blood work, urine) that would have cause those cramps and just said that I should take it easy and it was probably early Braxton-Hicks. I left with a huge feeling of relief but I will feel even better on the 26th when we get our formal ultrasound. Starting off the pregnancy thinking I was miscarrying tends to make me worry about everything. But I would like to start planning, nesting, and dreaming about this little baby and stop worrying about every little thing. I want to let myself think that it is going to be all right and that I can let myself start loving this little one fully.

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Comments

  1. I am glad everything is ok. The beginning can be stressful but try to relax as much as you can because stress is certainly not helpful. I know it is hard though!

  2. ooooh Deb xxxxxx

  3. I’m so happy for you and the baby, you can’t even imagine. The fact that you are not sick for a few days may mean that you are far enough in the pregnancy not to feel nauseous again. And I can’t wait to see my future niece/nephew!

  4. I have read that every pregnancy is different. I didn’t have morning sickness with my son. I was hoping that I would not get it. Hang in there.

    • Sixtine and The Little Things says:

      Thank you Ingrid. I have heard it in the past as well, but I had it so hard that it was (and still is) quite difficult to make peace with the fact that it is ok to feel well.

  5. I read your story and I feel hope. I suffered from Hyperemesis during the first five months of my first (and only so far) pregnancy; the remaining four being just about bearable. For mums lucky enough not to have been aquainted with this condition: Hyperemesis is much more than morning sickness… Really great blog on the topic: http://hyperemesisgravidarum.blogspot.fr/2003_10_01_archive.html

    I’ve decided to take my chances try for baby2… not knowing AT ALL what to expect. Sure, all pregnancies are different, but contrary to women who’ve had “normal” pregnancies, with the “normal” levels of sickness, Hyperemesis comes back again for most women who’ve experienced it the first time (only about 15% don’t get it in further pregnancies) and sometimes in an even more severe form.

    So, reading you, I feel an immense hope that I will be as lucky as you the second time… 🙂 Have a lovely pregnancy and enjoy every minute of it! 😀

    • I felt a bit emotional reading your comment. I know what you have been through and how the thought of being pregnant again doesn’t appeal when you have suffered from HG. I have to say that I cried quite a bit when I found out I was pregnant – not ready at all for another nine months of sickness.

      But yes, it could get better. I haven’t been sick for about two weeks now but did get sick a couple times ( I did too much and didn’t eat). I am still crossing my fingers hoping it won’t come back with a revenge, but there is hope for sure.

      Good luck to you and let me know how things go with you.

      Thanks again for taking the time to tell your story. I really appreciate it.

  6. Thank you for your reply. I can totally relate to your reaction, though it’s been over five years since my last pregnancy. If you’re not sick by now, you probably won’t be, so you can really relax now. I don’t think the monster’s coming for you. 😉

    I’ll let you know how things are coming along, as soon as there’s something to tell. 😉

    How was your HG managed btw? Were you still in France at the time?

    • I haven’t been sick for about two weeks now although I had three bad episodes since then but it didn’t last. I feel very nauseous now – almost constantly which isn’t a nice feeling. But it is still better than what it was.

      I was prescribed medicines that didn’t work. And I felt very helpless. I don’t think that they really understood the extent of the sickness. And I felt alone with my misery. I lost a ton of weight and could barely drink anything but it didn’t seem to bother them.

      I felt/feel very dehydrated this time again but they keep telling me that I don’t look dehydrated (and nothing comes up in urine samples). I barely drink and I know I should but it is really hard for me because it triggers the sickness.

      I was still in Canada. I think many things would have been different if I had received better care in the HG department.

      Good luck with the baby making and I hope you will be spared…

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