Co-sleeping, bed-sharing, or sleep-sharing.

vic

Last night, I decided to put Victoire in her own bed, in her own room. I am not sure what triggered the decision – she was starting to fuss and I wasn’t ready to go to sleep but didn’t want to leave my bedroom either (Daddy was away) so I thought: “mon beau chat*”, tonight is the night. You are going to sleep by yourself, like a big girl. I kissed her and wished her goodnight. I left the room and felt sick to my stomach. I wasn’t enjoying not having her with me – as we always do. I felt incomplete. I missed her. I went back. Picked her up. And we had a very good night sleep.

I realize that I am not ready to part with her – exclusively breastfeeding her has created a bond so strong that I feel I can’t let go of her for too long. But I need to find a happy medium, I would like to spend some time with my husband and just cuddle, and dream together without a squirmy little individual in between us.

If you have any experience co-sleeping and would like to share tips or “I hear you” type of thoughts and feelings, I am all ears. Especially if you have experience breastfeeding without co-sleeping! I am not even sure that it is what I want. I just know I need to find a better way of balancing one-on-one time with my husband (or myself for that matter, sometimes, I just want time alone) and cuddly-time with baby.

*I nicknamed her my pretty cat.

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Comments

  1. I breaatfeed on demand even today hes coming up to 11 months old.
    We have co slept on the odd night here and there but i always get up and put him back in to his own bed.
    Its exhausting staying awake in till he falls asleep so i can move him.

    I still havent managed to place him in the cot awake and let him fall asleep alone.
    We breastfeed and cuddle to sleep.

    You have to do what works for you. Try laying in the big bed in till sleeps and move her. When she wakes later in the night continue to co sleep,
    Then slowly after each waking move her back in to her cot.
    Good luck.

    • Thank you! I don’t know where you find the energy to stay up and put him back once he is eventually asleep. I don’t have it in me (at the moment). I sometimes put her in her cot for naps and if it’s the “right time”, (satisfied, sleepy, fed), she will fall asleep nicely without a fuss. Otherwise, it doesn’t “work”.

  2. paolavaughan2013 says:

    I am going trough the same, my baby girl is 13 months and I am breastfeeding her just to help her fall asleep in the night. But every time I take her to her crib in her room she starts crying and I can’t do that to her and I will bring her back to the bed. I tried different methods, I let her cry, I sing to her, I use the rocking chair and nothing works, but as soon as she is in bed with us she will sleep all night like an angel. I am just hoping she will do better in her crib soon, but for now I will enjoy her while she wants to sleep with me.

    Good luck.

  3. Hi!

    I’m breastfeeding my 9month old still, and we co slept / bed shared from day 0 (excluding her time in scbu). We had a co sleeper cot next to the bed and used it once she was around 11 weeks old as I wanted her knw its us until then. After that I just pulled her into bed to feed, and popped her back, but not always. Sometimes just having that first 3/4 hours alone was enough. Now she’s bigger she’s in a big cot, right next to our bed. When she started crawling we had to pop the side on but until then daddy left it off so it kind of worked as a big co sleeper cot.

    She’s just started sleeping through the night, and whilst I love my sleep I miss the feeds! There’s something amazing about it no? She will eventually go into her own room with her sister, but she’s fine here for now, I love her being there. Feels safer. 🙂

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