Letter To Baby #2

I am sorry.

I am sorry that I don’t play music for you as much as I would like. And I am sorry if sometimes I feel sad and cry. You are our second baby girl and we love you just as much as the first one. It is just different. Your big sister takes a lot of my time and energy and Daddy went away to work. I promise to be the loving mother that you deserve when you come to this world. I want you to know that I love you so much. I just can’t be there for you all the time and talk to you, feel you, and interact with you as I did for your big sister. It breaks my heart little sister.

Why I Wanted Our Baby To Be A Girl

I have recently come to the conclusion that wanting a baby girl because they are quiet, calm and sweet wasn’t very accurate. It appears that, as she develops her own personality, my daughter is a real active, fearless girl and I am starting to think…Will she want to go to ballerina classes? Those were my plans for her! She doesn’t take her fearlessness after me as I have always been considered as a “delicate flower”, a very girlie girl. My husband must be over-the-moon excited as he gets 2 for the price of one! “She may enjoy playing hockey”, he even said. Uh, no. Dance, and er..art, and if you really insist maybe figure skating.

Obviously, I love my daughter the way she is and won’t force her to do anything but I am hoping that we will get to share some things together. I am so happy that she is a smart, happy, social, full of life, and risk-taker type of person! I mean I wouldn’t dive off a bed like she does. I know she is only little and she will sure grow and change but she is starting to show us who she is and I love it!

When I first became pregnant, my only wish was to have a healthy pregnancy, delivery and baby. And then, as the pregnancy evolved I started to wish (more or less secretly) that we were expecting a girl. My dad kept saying “It’s a boy, it has to be boy. Nature will make things right…”. He meant balance things up a little bit as he is the father of four girls! And I felt it was a girl but waited until the day it was confirmed: “You are expecting a girl”! It was such a beautiful day.

We were ecstatic and then, after a bit, I felt a little sad for the baby boy we also envisioned and dreamed of…I think we won’t make the same mistake again (talking about two distinct babies – a boy and a girl) and will just talk about “baby” until we find out what baby is as it was really sad to think about that boy we already loved yet didn’t exist in real life.

Some of you may have requested to know the gender of their baby, some others may have waited for it to be a surprise…I was one of those mamas counting down the days to gender revelation day. You should have seen my face! I guess we all have our reasons for wanting a specific gender, or not wanting to know. I was glad we got to know as it helped prepared myself mentally…I think it would have taken me a few weeks to get over the fact that we weren’t having a girl. Don’t take me wrong though. Children are blessings and I would love a baby boy just as I love my baby girl, but some of us can’t help but wish for one or the other. I think I always felt like I would be a mama’s girl. Growing up in a family of 6 including 5 ladies, I never really had close friends that were boys, and I always wanted to have a daughter.

Now, if we were to have another baby some day, I know my husband would love to have a boy and I have to say that I would love to have a baby sister for my daughter but would be just as happy to have a boy, now that the girl box has been ticked!

I would love to hear your thoughts on baby gender! Did you find out the sex of your baby during your pregnancy or did you want the surprise? Why?