What Ever Happened To My Great Sleeper?!

How do you tell such cute face “not your bed! mine!”?

Sixtine used to be a great sleeper. As soon as she turned 2 months, I decided that it was time for her to sleep in her own room. It only took about three days, and perseverance and consistency! Then we went to France for four months and shared the same bedroom. I would go to sleep long after she would but I am pretty sure she was laughing inside knowing exactly what was going on! I am sleeping with Mama! Yay!  Now that we are back, Sixtine is almost 9 months, she is teething (her two front upper teeth are piercing through), she is learning a million new tricks everyday and she is facing separation anxiety. Plus, this is a new environment for her, Paris was loud, busy, and the house was filled of laughter, a barking chiwawa dog, aunties and Nana. Here, it is just me and her. And it is as quiet as quiet can be. You may have guessed by now:

She won’t sleep alone! Every time I put her in bed, she screams for me to come back. And she is not pretending, she is really upset, you should see her. It is heart-breaking. I have been rocking her to sleep, cuddling her to sleep, and even lying down in bed with her for two weeks now. She usually sleeps in our bed after she first wakes up in the middle of the night. She sleeps so peacefully when she is with us.

I can’t blame her – she is being such a trooper. She is probably missing what she thought was her home, her aunties, grandmother and all the little things that make you feel come home. She is showing interest in my own little thing that I used to sleep with ( I am using the past here, but really, it is a lie. I still sleep with it.), I think it has my smells and that it comforts her somehow.

I am hoping that it is just a phase and that it will pass. I want her to feel happy in her own bed again.

An Empowering Feeling

In the first few months of her life, I wondered whether my baby loved me and if she knew I was her mother.

And then one day, as I was leaving the room, letting her in the care of my family, she cried because she wanted me. When I got back, a few minutes later, she crawled towards me as if her life depended on it, wrapped her arms around my ankle, and made sounds expressing she wanted me.  I melted and felt so empowered. It made me feel that I was doing something right.

Now that we can interact more, she doesn’t cease to amaze on the many ways she chooses to express her love to me.

It may sound silly to say that my heart is happy, that my baby loves me but eh!

I Survived Being Away From Baby

I won’t bore you with the details of my awesome weekend in London (Japanese restaurant near Hammersmith/clubbing in Leicester Square/brunch in Russel Square/shopping in Marble Arch/Camden Town/Hammersmith) but I survived my trip away from baby. My heart was so heavy to say goodbye to Sixtine. I felt bad because I knew she wouldn’t realize I was gone until after a few hours…but I had such a great time ! It felt so good dancing and enjoying myself as a woman and not just a mother. I thought my old self was gone forever but she is still there and that makes me happy.

I phoned and texted my mother during the weekend and she said Sixtine was doing all right. She didn’t want to tell me that she had been a little difficult and cried and whined more than ever. I was able to talk to her though and I know they took very good care of her.

Going back home, I felt like running to get closer to baby as soon as possible. I opened the door with excitement, washed my hands (yucky métro you know…), and walked towards my little one. She was playing on her mat with a crocheted wooden teether and I said: “Sissi, Baby…!” and she gave me the most beautiful smile…she laughed, she smiled, she talked and kissed with open mouth…It was the best feeling in the world.

London: My First Trip Away From Baby

I haven’t been separated from my baby daughter since she was born, and this weekend will mark a milestone. I am going to London with my BFF for three days. We have known each other since we were girls, and we have been going to London for years. I moved in London at the age of 20 and then again in 2009 to attend university. We know London well enough to go for very short visits and skip the sight seeing. We shop til we drop, we dance like no one’s watching , and we go home happy.

But it is going to be very different this time…I am a mother, and I have a tiny little one who will be wondering where her Mama is.  My heart hurts at the thought of being away from her for so long…I even thought of cancelling but I need to do this.

It is going to be lots of fun and I will take a million pictures !

How did you survive your first trip away sans baby?

Leaving Baby with the Babysitter for the First Time

Tomorrow night, my husband and I are going out for the evening. We have gone out a few times since the baby’s arrival and it was always hard to leave her, even with our loving family. I know she has a blast whenever she sees them (they have children and she loves their company) but you know how it feels…She is so tiny, and I like to think she misses me when I am away. When really, I miss her.

Anyways, I started to look around for a babysitter about a month ago and I was very surprised to realize that I was the kind-of-a-mum I would think was a little too much when I used to apply for babysitting jobs. (I worked as a babysitter and a nanny for a long, long, time.)

But what can I say? She is my baby. I want her safe, healthy, happy. There is something really scary about leaving your child with a stranger. But I am confident that we have found the perfect babysitter for our family. She seems great on paper and in real life. We met her some evening and were delighted to see that she was what we expected her to be. I had a long list of “qualifications/qualities” and I never thought someone would actually fit the job. I just started a list of things that I would like our babysitter to be/have: have first aid qualification. he fluent in French. very experienced with children. over 20. and then, a plus: education or nurse student. This girl has all that and more. Before meeting her I even said to my husband: “what if she wasn’t a real person?!”.

We chatted a little bit and she interacted well with the baby, I had prepared questions which she answered genuinely well and I knew she’d be the one pretty much right away. I think you can feel these things.

It is going to be hard but I know that reassurance will come with time.

So, tell me, at what age did you leave your baby with a babysitter (stranger) for the first time? Any tips for worried Mamas like me?